Today I’m not sharing any recipes but instead a very personal stuff that I’ve wanting to share with you since January but been a little bit afraid. It’s kind of scary to just put myself out there and tell you what I’ve been through and opening up, but I feel it will turn the negative into positive stuff, I just want to let it out of my system and maybe help you guys understand if you have anyone going through this issues or even if your going through this.
So let’s talk about this… I think I’ve always been a really nervous person, I remember the first days of school I would not have breakfast and would feel like throwing up, the way I’d express my anxiety or my nervousness if that’s a word haha, would be that way, not wanting to eat or feeling like throwing up.
When I was in kindergarten I’d throw up literally the first weeks of school, I just couldn’t control myself, and when I turned 6-7 years old when I began to go to elementary school I controlled wanting to throw up which mas an awesome thing, I would just felt like not having breakfast and it would last me only 2 or 3 days.
A while ago when I was 15 I graduated from the school I was for almost 10 years and transferred to another school for “High school” (we have a different education system here in Mexico) and let’s just say I wasn’t well received in that school, in other words they would bully me.
It was a hard period in my life and the throwing up began to appear again, not wanting to eat, and just feeling really insecure and helpless, 2 or 3 months later I came home crying to my parents and told them what was going on, that I felt horrible going to school and that my classmates bullied me, my parents took me out of that school and I lost a year but that’s a different story.. Since then I started having panic attacks every now and then in places too crowded, in church, at the supermarkets, even at my friends party’s.
Let’s clear things up a little bit and define what a panic attack is:
“Generally, a panic attack happens as a result of extremely heightened anxiety. Any of us have the potential of experiencing a panic attack. However, for those who do not suffer from any anxiety disorder, a panic attack is only likely to happen if triggered by an anxiety-provoking event.
A panic attack can come on very suddenly and have no obvious triggers. Although a panic attack episode may appear at random, they come from our evolutionary response to danger. Having a panic attack is said to be one of the most intensely frightening, upsetting and uncomfortable experiences in a person’s life. The American Psychological Association says the symptoms of a panic attack generally last for about 30 minutes, although the attack itself may only be 15 seconds long. Some panic attack can last for much longer, even hours.
Panic attacks are associated with agoraphobia – fear of open spaces, as well as the fear of being unable to escape from a dangerous situation. People who have experienced a panic attack often say afterwards that they felt trapped.”
It’s such a horrible/uncomfortable situation to be in, I just hated the fact that I would fear going outside my house because I didn’t want to have a panic attack, feeling like nobody understood me and my friends would come to visit me only at my house because of this, in a way it was kind of positive, cause I realised who were my true friends you know the ones that were by my side even when I didn’t feel the best, even if they didn’t understand what I was going through they would be there for me always.
Thankfully now im back on track with school and my classmates are awesome people, this year im graduating and going to college so that’s exciting, but it’s been a long journey trying to not have panic attacks, this january I went to see a psychiatrist who gave me some pills for my “wanting to throw up” issues and explain me what was going on, He told me I trained my stomach to feel sick when nervous and I would always swallow things because I didn’t want people to notice what was happening with me, and that explained a lot of things for me, he recommended me to do some relaxing exercises and listen to relaxing music as well, I adopted the reading hobbie as one of my relaxing methods and I’ve felt that’s worked for me really well, now I go outside with my friends: to the movie theater, to their houses, to the park, I just go out more and I love it, being able to not have panic attacks and really enjoy what I’m doing makes me feel so good words can’t explain it.
So I felt I wanted to share these things that have been happening with me, and maybe that’s why I’ve left the blog for a while without posting anything.
Now I feel like I want to start blogging again and make this as often as I can, I loved sharing recipes, but I have found that I love to talk about things as well that’s why I’ll start writing stuff that happens to me, for a way to let it out and express myself, isn’t that what blogging is for? expressing ourselves without being judged.
Expect to see me here more often and as always thank you for reading my blog, it truly makes me happy 🙂
I want to leave some helpful links below so you guys can inform yourself better with anxiety and panic attacks!
I’ll write you guys soon 🙂